"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
-Psalm 34:18
I remember going through a dark time that was very much connected to my faith. It began when I learned that the book of Mark wasn't written down until 30 years after Jesus' ministry. That really bothered me. Then, I started questioning much in the Bible, and I really didn't know what to do with this frustration. I hadn't yet learned that Mark, for example, had probably already memorized the whole Tenach, the Hebrew Bible. So, without this and other knowledge and understanding, I started to wonder if the Bible was real and if God was real. What was I to do with this doubt?
I remember, in the midst of this time of doubt, sitting down to play the piano. For some reason, I played Beethoven's "Pathetique," a song I learned when I was 15 and hadn't played it in years. Nonetheless, I played it perfectly from beginning to end. Then, a light went on in my brain, and I began to weep. I realized that, in the same way, the gospel of Mark in the Bible could be written many years after the events happened because of memory.
In that moment, I had to sit in the darkness, the doubt, and the struggle. I had to wait there on the Lord and I couldn't force any of it to end. Then, organically and naturally, God brought me out of that dark time and prepared me to be a new person. And that renewed and deepened faith had to happen before I could go to seminary because, in seminary, much of what you believe is challenged as you're prepared to be a pastor. (Bobby SCHULLER)
Sometimes, in the dark night of the soul, when you wonder if God even exists, if he hears your prayers, he is closer than you think.
Prayer: Dear Lord, even in the dark times, you are near to me. Your light shines brightly in my soul. Amen.
Seigneur, souvent dans ma vie ta proximité et ta présence me font sentir que quoiqu'il arrive je ne suis ni seul ni abandonné : chercher ta présence plus fort, te demander aide et assistance, et finir par sentir cette force avec moi, voilà ce dont je veux te remercier en ce jour !! Amen !